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    A recent question, posed at the end of another essay here, asked about the writer’s erection going limp after 20 minutes of sexual intercourse. My immediate responses (to myself, of course) were "Wow!" and “No wonder.”

    And then the sex therapist in me kicked in: “No one response is normal.

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  • There is a wide variation in the way individuals enjoy sex…” which is true. Still, 20 minutes of in-and-out vaginal sex is near the outer extreme. The average is 3 to 5 minutes. According to a recent survey, vaginal sex that lasts one to two minutes is “too short," and vaginal sex that lasts 10 to 30 minutes is considered “too long.” This begs the question, "Considered by whom?”

    How long an act of intercourse lasts has many variables: his age, the newness of the couple to each other, whether other sexual acts included, whether there are breaks in the action, whether the man was drinking beforehand, etc.

    Also, when surveyed about their sex lives, many men tend to exaggerate: Three minutes becomes 15 in the blink of an eye.

    In some acts of vaginal sex how long it lasts is determined not by the

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